Here we are. T-12 and we’ve been warned it’s almost the last day of ground shipping before Christmas and Hanukkah this year. In raw honesty, it’s been a pretty overwhelming year to date, even before experiencing the amount of GUIDANCE OF GIFTING that has occurred over the past few weeks. Almost daily, hourly, the abundant, questionably qualified while authoritative advising has made me wrinkle up my nose to think of adding to the chorus, much less the unpaid overtime, shipping traffic, and unfettered CEO profits.

It also feels so late. I was lucky enough to visit South America for an inspiring work trip last week on a bit of short notice (more on that trip in the new year!!!), which threw off my staying ahead of, or simply treading, the rising December gifting timeline waters. It’s not just me, and it’s not just this year. Substack itself knows its girth and industry reportage veteran Amy Odell shares her peak gift guiding saturation insights and other insider confessions in kind.

It breaks my heart to admit that my second favorite year-end activity (festive, awkward office karaoke is obviously the first) may have finally lost its luxuriously thoughtful lustre to a decade of impersonal SEO word salads and now AI mush. Because gifting has always been my love language of choice! I made lists of hopeful inside joke gifts for fifth grade crushes and, pre-excel, hand-gridded matrices on Mead Five Star velcro notebooks in metallic Jellyroll ink filled with which Bath & Body Works scent spoke most appropriately to each gal pal’s personality and subsequent American Doll era. I’ve even somehow been given the unofficial lifetime post of concepting the group gift for the boss, forever disregarding the ocean of tax brackets between us.

Yet this year, the hunt feels so basïk. It feels weighted with guilt, exhaustion, and affiliate links (we get like $.08 of a $1 purchase, more on that here from Emilia—and for transparency, my currently aff revenue tally is a quality round zero FYI!). If you’re anything like me and most of the people I’ve griped with this bleak quarter, we’re just tired. We’re not into effort where effort isn’t due, tbh. Even masterclass gift advisors Claire and Erica declined to partake!! (We are at once devastated and supportive.)

But for the few we do want to show support towards and gratitude for (god bless the teachers and emotional support group chats), no, we haven’t even started!! I don’t have my budget spreadsheet copied nor balanced from last year. My tabs are not sorted. My gift bag hiding in the closet is NOT organized nor audited from the year of travel and hoarded, well-intentioned purchases. And most importantly, I am not a retail brick or channel that needs to achieve 50% of the years’ sales goal in the last 30 (turned-65) days of the year, rolling out retouched and top-edited holiday editorial content and shopping guides with paid, lead placement agreements on October 25th that was a whole person’s full time job and life and inbox for the 4.5 months prior (hi, it’s me. I was she for your favorite ridiculous gift guide buyer last year—before that same October 25th baby’s due date launched 2 weeks early. No shade, I was thrilled to swaddle a new baby Libra boy after stressing all eight and a quarter months of the year over the idea of a second-born Scorpio in this already male majority, neurospicy household). Back to the plot.

With an encouraging kick in the rear, I’ve been honored that a few people have aggressively tapped me to help them hunt down meaningful tokens of seasonal gratitude for very specific recipients. And who am I to decline a shopportunity with someone else’s cash? As I’ve said before, I love few exercises more than this one.

To force structure in my responses out from that of chaotic, consumerist spewing that spins out on autopilot in my head most hours of the day after decades as a merchant and a lifetime of Atlanta-born etiquette, I’ll categorize each answer with a few examples from the stance of “Spend,” “Save,” and “Support.” (Three things I am trying to balance forever after?) I’m also still vetting the bigger players through Goods Unite Us and focusing on local or smaller merchants and makers that need our support—always. And stay ‘til the end for the link to shop them all.

So without further run-on ado (I know, every editor needs an editor), please meet our first sleuth case!

From corporate white elephants or ugly sweater contests on your second day of work to daycare Secret Santas (yes) on top of your regular gift giving programming—what an emotional rollercoaster! The first holiday season I had a full-time luxury retail job in college, I drew the eponymous store founder’s name from the Secret Santa Miu Miu dust bag hahahahahaha. For another story. Or maybe just an IG wild ride. Back to our caller! Lauren seems like she works with great people who do meaningful work despite their legal addictive stimulant problem.

General rule of engagement is to spend up to $20, but I tend to always go a respectable and covertly teensy bit over, either in spend or presentation effort, because why the hell not be extra for them. These are your PEOPLE. You spend more waking hours and share more meals together than your legally wedded spouse. You’re in the trenches together. They’ve likely seen you at your worst (if you’re a millennial who brings their whole self to work and not some healthy-boundaried Gen Z-er), so give them your best—under $30. $42? Proceed with your own discretion, of course. After all, Bob in accounting did bring Covid to the party in 2021. Here’s how I’d break it down:

Spend: Consumables (foodish things) are always a no-brainer to fuel that 4pm walkabout treat you’ve trauma bonded over.

• A decadent box of Oprah’s favorite cookie ships worldwide, this famous bundle is hard to beat, and an epic Brooklyn-made batch is gluten free and vegan—but they’ll never know it.

• This is a cookie-adjacent…incredibly niche patisserie cereal? No, it’s not for sale online and yes, you’ll have to line up at 7am to get a $25 6oz box.

Split tip: if it feels like too much to spend on one person, split the batch up and rewrap the balance for neighbor, mail carrier, or community fridge.

Into fewer afternoon calories and more morning caff?

• Opt out of the potentially too easy small batch instant coffee packs, craft espresso grind, or bulk buying their favorite specialty flavor of plastic for the office’s instant coffee machine. Instead, why not give the reusable variety so they can add their own at home? Or, if approved by leadership and a jury of office peers, keep it at work and offer to treat the office to a taste of something new each week!

Save: Sometimes the most expensive treat is not the best in the land. One year when I was the Home, Gift—and Gourmet Food lol—Buyer at Saks, everyone in the open office was always dying over the number of calls I would get from the Hawaii store manager begging to restock the Maui Cookie Lady cookies. What a business to chase. Guess what I shipped directly to the office for the thrice-stolen gift that year? Correct. (I also hand looped a lei out of funfetti yarn and vintage fabric for a themed, fashionable accessory GWP.) Mele Kalikimaka, y’all.

• Go light and breezy to spice up lunch hour! It may not be the most-stolen gift, but Julia Sherman’s crunchy bits and some family-made Onino heat will jazz up any sad desk salad this dry January.

• And instead of supporting the unholy explosion of the desk-side coffee warmer genre that shall not be named, why not dive into your new quilting venture’s scrap pile and whip up a 4-pack of coiled or quilted fabric coasters for your office bestie?

• Hand make (or sweater cuff-hack) a chunky to-go cup koozie for your afternoon bitch ‘n’ brew run! Or sweetly embroider the rolled edges of a cotton scrap into a desk napkin or bandana bib (udon slurp is real) that they can enjoy all year round.

• Bonus upgrade to any consumable gift: add my favorite spork of all time from Japan brass masters. My kid won’t eat mac ‘n’ cheese without it.

• Final fun cheap and cheerful treat would be a gift card to a local shop for knife sharpening ($10 each). We know you really only use your favorite two, maybe three.

Support: Sticking with the consumable-adjacent category with an added benefic bonus, here’s a few to choose from via companies doing their part to give back, empower, spotlight, and build a better place.

• Asheville, NC-based and cult favorite East Fork Pottery is giving 5% of all sales to their community that was pummeled by this fall’s Helene hurricane through the end of the year. Though their tableware is out of budget for this capped exercise, anything in their signature ceramics-turned-candle category works! The scents are developed and hand-poured in Brooklyn by masterful friends at Joya Studio in Brooklyn. Once it’s burned all the way down and cleaned, the vessel will be great for espresso, sake, salt, bobby pins, or pouring another candle of your own at home if you’re a DIY folk.

• For more kitsch and a chuckle as is the spirit of office gift levity, Williams-Sonoma teamed up with No Kid Hungry again this year for limited edition spatulas and the Kris one still kicks. Throw in the pancake mix for a steal-worthy bundle.

• A giving back goodie bag! Go wildly above budget for the cause:

  • Canaan Palestine tapenade (supports farmers to save and restore 3,000 year-old groves)

  • Waka instant coffee sampler (gives to Global South clean water)

  • Blk&Bold cold brew (Black-owned business)

  • Smol tinned fishies from Patagonia Provisions (supports regenerative organic agriculture)

  • Local vintage cookbook (nothing new!) and this one happens to be from the 1887 farm and shingled mansion where the Kennedys hosted their 1953 wedding reception

  • Grab a freebie tote from your amassed collection or upgrade to this lively bok choy one from Heart of Dinner (aids Asian-American elderly in NYC) and put it all together for a thoughtful gift of giving back.

Scroll the complete budget office edit

Brain Blitz: Lightning round of tiniest treats also include travel salt, a pound of local chestnuts, vegan micro gummies (NSFW?), pretty stickies, pickle-flavored lip balm, the tiniest keychain you’ll steal back for yourself, world’s smallest nerd alert, local maple syrup, to-go dirty martini brine, Hudson Valley pollinator seeds, and German keyboard brush.

OK hope this helps don’t let Linda in HR get too sloshed go get ‘em Lauren!!!!

See you soon with another hotline request if I can manage to keep this up.

xx —CFLA